It’s a control thing

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I, like many in Australia, have been watching Hitting Home on ABC and I, like many in Australia, have been appalled, dismayed, outraged and confounded by how it’s possible for us to be in this situation.

Then it really hit me between the eyes, they always sum it up as being about control. The perpetrators seek to control their victims and since the perpetrators are overwhelmingly male that means that raising boys correctly is the very crux of the matter. That’s me, that’s what I’m doing, I have a real responsibility here.

I hear parents joking that raising children is like living with dictators but it isn’t really a joke. We all want control, our children want to control us and get us to do what they want. I don’t mean that in some unkind, negative “they’re out to get us” way, it’s just human nature. I wish everyone did exactly what I wanted all the time too, we all do but it’s our parental responsibility to teach our children, especially our boys that responsibility for our own actions is the highest level of control we can ever have.

I have days where I feel that it’s been a constant power struggle, fighting for that control in my relationship with my son. It’s hard going and very tempting to give in but I now have an added incentive, I want to raise a man that understands what he is responsible for. I want my son to understand that he can’t control me or anyone else and that it’s wrong to try to. I’m going to remind myself on those days when doing what he wants feels easier than taking a stand for what is best that I’m doing my part in combating domestic violence, I’m wearing a white ribbon on the frontline. The buck stops here.

* Image from Hitting Home on ABC.

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