Boys know everything

know allBoys know everything. And what they don’t know they pretend to know so convincingly that not even they realise that they don’t actually know what they are talking about.

I’ve been told it’s a 3 year old thing but in my experience most women grow out of it while most men do not.

On relating just about anything to anyone in my family the resulting response is “Yeah, I know.” From “it’s your turn to set the table” through to “…and so that is the actual meaning of life.”  The response is always the same, the only person finding the news to be newsy is me.

I witnessed the 3 year old and the 6 year old have a day long argument over the question “What’s 2 + 2?” Equally emphatically both parties insist that they have done the due diligence on their research and have formulated their answer with only the facts to support them and yet their answers remained different.

Today the car journey argument was around the meaning of the word “test”. One of them insisted that somebody needed to die or at least be severely maimed in order to call something a test. The other thought it could mean merely checking whether you thought 2+2 was equal to 4 or 100 and drawing some conclusions about your mathematical genius based on your answer.

In an attempt to explain the “test” concept to the underlings I used the example of a driving test. Which prompted the exteremly obvious question of whether somebody would get hurt during a driving test? Whilst I explained that no that was not the usual outcome…which resulted in an “Ah ha, SEE!” from the person whose argument I had just supported, I did allow that in some instances, if the testee was perhaps not ready for his test, it might. Which resulted in a much louder and much more triumphant “AH HAA! SEE!!”.

As they get older this life skill grows and the boys in your life will know how you feel, what you think and what you’re about to say better than you do. If you were to start a sentence with eye contact and full engagement it will only last for the first few words that leave your mouth before they walk away either to do what they think you were going to ask them or because they already know whatever it was.

For example if you were to start the sentence “Please go to the fridge…”

You would be handed some strawberries before you could even utter the words “…and bring me some milk.”

“Umm?”

“It’s fine. You like strawberries.”

“Yes but I wanted coffee”

“Yeah, I know but you’ve already had enough coffee today.”

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