A while ago someone that had misunderstood the content of one of my posts made an accusation that I had called a child my own when I had no right to do so.
The accusation was made incorrectly but in such a way that I felt it was offensive to many people that I would consider mothers so I removed it.
It did make me wonder though, who does have the right to call a child their child? What gives someone the right to call themselves the mother of a child?
Is there a list of things that you have to have or do? Is there a list of things that you have to not have or not do?
I’m genuinely curious what people think?
I know it’s not as simple as just biology because a large number of women who have no genetic connection to their children are legally responsible for their welfare.
So is it a legal definition? Surely that misses the mark in some instances too?
I have long held the opinion that a mother is the person that does everything including all the little things, the big things and the all through the night things for a child before the child can do them for themselves. I never considered a situation where there was more than one person who did those things who might want an ungranted recognition for doing them because not everyone wanted them to be doing them.
A mother is also the person that should be teaching and training a child how not to be a child forever, to do and be the best adult that they can be. If a mother is actively trying to keep her children her children does that make her less of a mother?
I am in the fortunate position that the child shaped hole that a lot of women seem to develop across their child bearing years is wonderfully filled by my own beautiful son, biologically and unquestioned as my own but there are women who don’t have their own biological children and who might never have any but who do all the hard work things on a regular basis for children that they are not “allowed” to call their own.
Is it only biological mothers that are unwillingly finding themselves in situations where they might be expected to share their children’s affections that they falter at recognising another woman’s role in performing their children’s duties? Even when it would be in the child’s best interests to be allowed to do so? Can the part of being a mother and having the protective instinct to keep your children from harm not be expected to gracefully kick in here?
Should unconditional love and a desire for the child’s well being not extend to this situation?
Should these tests be included to prove the right to claim motherhood?
*Image from http://simplymotherhood.com/