I’ve always dreamed of starting my day sitting in a puddle of a 5 year old’s wee, so you can just imagine my excitement when today, for the second time this month, my dream came true.
In the scheme of the whole seat up seat down debacle, I’ve jumped seats and I’m now all for the seat up. I can assure you wholeheartedly that I’d rather put a seat down than sit on things that should be in the toilet and not on it.
“Why don’t you just check the seat before you sit down?” I can hear you thinking. Really? First thing in the morning, bleary eyed from a night of calming the fears of said 5 year old, before any coffee has even been smelt? If you are in fight and flight toilet seat checking mode you have a faster ON switch than me.
I’m usually congratulating myself on not falling over the 17 pairs of shoes that have been lovingly strewn down the passage way to remind me that obstacles must be tackled head on to succeed in life; not tripping over the 3 jumpers that were deemed unfit to be worn more than a few minutes each but will almost certainly be deemed dirty enough to need washing and not refolding and packing away; and navigating a safe passageway through the remains of the ravages of the war that was waged sibling against sibling, won and lost the previous afternoon.
When I finally arrive at my destination, hopefully mostly unscathed I want to fall onto a seat of safety and be greeted with sweet relief not to sit on a seat that has been recklessly used before me. Forget home is where the heart is…Home is where the wee is still warm on the seat.
* Image from http://www.sfweekly.com/microsites/toilet/